Frighteningly Bad

AML’s Lizzie Hutchison explains why this ghoul doesn’t wanna have any fun on Halloween!

I’ve never liked Halloween. Sure, I’m a Christian and vibe more with the other end of the spiritual spectrum, but even so – what is there to like? Blood? Ghosts? Ugly things? I don’t get it. I will still turn up at a Halloween party – because, parties – but really any makeup that gets too SFX makes me hurl. I was always the unconvincing blonde-black cat, and cutting out two triangles to stick to a hairband is as far as I’ll ever go. 

But Halloween seems to be getting bigger and bigger. More and more brands are jumping on the trend. Every year shop windows become increasingly terrifying, till last weekend I found myself looking up at a-plastic-eight-foot-motorised-demon in Wandsworth. And that’s before you’ve set foot in Spoons. 

I live next to a graveyard (quiet neighbours), but even so, it’s scary enough to be a woman walking home in the dark – without having to navigate light-up monsters on the way. I wish brands would decorate with the gord-geous American approach (you’re welcome) with a few root veggies and a wholesome pumpkin-spice atmosphere. In fact, a nice idea would be for brands to sponsor extra eco-friendly street lamps to keep us safe from drunken zombies. 

Yesterday I looked at my phone to find something unfamiliar on the homescreen, and realised that Tumblr has changed its logo to what looks like the Grim Reaper. TOO FAR, TUMBLR, TOO FAR. I don’t want something er… grim… staring up at me from my own little time-wasting device. I feel bad enough mindlessly scrolling without being reminded of my own mortality. Jeepers. 

As a copywriter, I’ve written my fair share of ‘fang-tastic’ headlines over the years, and so I always feel for the sucker who’s tasked with flogging face cream with the latest spin on ‘resting witch-face’. I think we should all just give it a rest this year. Besides, with Covid, Brexit and Prime Minister number 109,830,192, we’ve had enough tricks. Just treats please.



Lizzie Hutchison,

Copywriter at AMLGroup.